Women will be women

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack & was taken 2 the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up ?”

God said, “No, you have another 34 years to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital
& have a face-lift surgery, liposuction, & tummy tuck. She even changed her hair color

Finally she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the road on her way home, she was killed by a truck.

Arriving in front of God, she asked,

“You said I had another 34 years to live.
Why didn’t you save me from the truck?”

(You’ll love this)
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God replied:

“I couldn’t recognize you!”

———–
Aur karo makeup

 

Wrong English Sentences People use…..

Terrible English:

1) There is no wind in the football..
2) I talk, he talk, why you middle talk?.
3) You rotate the ground 4 times..
4) You go and understand the tree.
5) I’ll give you clap on ur cheeks..
6) Bring your parents and your mother and especially your father.
7) Close the window airforce is coming.
8) I have two daughters and both are girls..
9) Stand in a straight circle..
10) Don’t stand in front of my back
11) Why Haircut not cut..?
12) Don’t make noise.. principle is rotating in the corridor
13) Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I’m here?
14) You talking bad habit
15) Give me a red pen of any colour.
16) Can i have some snow in my cold drink?
17) Pick the paper and fall into the dustbin.
18) Both of u stand together separately.
19) Keep quiet the principal just passed away!!

 

Baap – Bete ki shandaar baatein ….

Once a father beats up his son and when son starts crying, the father says sorry.

Smart Son says : Take a piece of paper. Crumble it. Fold it. Now open it. Say “sorry” to it. Are the scars on the paper gone? Nahi na.. Relationships are like this .

Smarter Dad says : Take my scooter and try to start. does it start ? Nahin naa… Now give it 3-4 kicks. Now does it start ? Hua na… Haram-khor.. Tu wahi scooter hai, koi paper – waper nahi. Aage se ye Facebook/WhatsApp wale gyaan apne baap ko mat dena.

 

Drunk Husband Joke in English

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night.

He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.

He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.

He smashed the first bottle swearing,
“you are the reason I fight with my wife”.

He smashed the second bottle,
“you are the reason I don’t love my children”.

He smashed the third bottle,
“you are the reason I don’t have a decent job”.

When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full.
He hesitated for only a moment and said
“you stand aside, I know you were not involved”.